7 Day Fitness Blog

Dear LALA,

Deion Sanders, here, with a very urgent question. My wife, Pilar, hit me in my own house. She even brought a friend. What do I do? Do I:

A. Call the police?

B. Fight Back?

C. Have her removed from the premises by threatening to call the police?

D. None of the Above?

Dear Deion,

First of all, I’d like to say thanks for humbling yourself to genuinely seek out some Anne Lander’s type wisdom by asking me this question. Sounds like you got yourself a conundrum there. What I foresee in the future is some amicable arrangement where the kiddos are concerned, and some sort of sane relationship where you and Pilar are concerned. Now, I know you are alleging that her and her friend showed up to beat you up at your house. This could pose a real security problem. But, here’s how I see it. Deion, is it possible that you, yourself, may have said something cocky to maybe invite a slap across the face? I’m not saying it was okay, but how uncool would it be if you had said something so mean and atrocious and almost unforgivable and in a moment of weakness, she slapped you? Sometimes, we say the meanest things and immediately wish we could take them back, leading us to apologize. Sometimes, we say the cruelest things, and before we can apologize, BOOM, the consequences slap us in the face… no bruise intended… I mean, no pun intended.

Anywho, it is with only experience in this type of situation that I may speak with such lightheartedness. I truly hope in your situation, that there is no real and present danger, there, of you, your estranged wife, or you children getting hurt. I mean, they are getting hurt right now with parents fighting and slapping in front of them, definitely. So, here’s my advice to you:

Do the following:

1. Get counseling to mend the marriage or finalize the divorce.

2. Improve security at your house (Move this to the number one spot).

3. Maybe work out so that you can better block these type of hits.  7DayFitness.com provides Virtual Online Personal Trainers so that you can do the workout in the comfort of your own home megagym you probably have.  (Lucky!)  Put a big screen in there and link it with your laptop and look us up.

4. Whenever you see women walk in a ‘pack’ run for cover. They can be dangerous to a meek guy like yourself. (Move this to the number two spot).

5. Either way, when you speak to anyone and you fear that there might be an altercation, REMOVE YOUR CHILDREN FROM THEIR PRESENCE! Haven’t you ever seen THE BLIND SIDE with the great SANDRA BULLOCK??? The boy’s mother who did crack tells him to close his eyes and that’s what saved him from a life as a drug dealer or street thug? Hide this temporary violence from your kids.

So, you can see that this was written with seriousness and humor. Seriously, you need help with your situation as far as something being not ‘exactly right’. So, take a deep, long look at your life and consider removing some negatives out of it to further remove some DRAMA.

And no, I don’t just mean remove Pilar. Look elsewhere… look inside of yourself and your bad habits. You can only change you.

Good luck Deion!

Way to go on trending online! You are tied with Mad Cow Disease. (Not really… they’re ahead… it’s okay)

LALA

Postscript: He didn’t really write me. For those of you who believe he did, I have something a wise person in the eighties once told me…

“DOY!” (Translates to you’re silly).

Second Postscript: Check out my other letter from John Edwards… such an unexpected surprise...

 

Sex, smooching, snuggling and everything else on the spectrum is great for your relationship and happiness, but intimate time with your sweetie is also terrific for your physical health!  Not only does that “loving feeling” get your heart rate up, it can burn some serious calories, too! Check out the calorie-burning profile of each romantic activity below (based on the body weight of a 150-lb woman) along with tips from experts on ramping things up to maximize the amount of calories burned.

 

Kissing: 68 calories per hour

Remember how, when you were first dating, you’d start locking lips and 30 minutes later you’d come up for air? See if you can get into that groove again, say experts. Not only is smooching a great way to show affection and improve your bond as a couple, it can also help you burn fat. “If the kissing is vigorous and involves some petting, it could be even closer to 90 calories burned in an hour,” says Jaiya Kinzbach, a Los Angeles–based sexologist and the author of "Red Hot Touch". Try her technique for turning kissing into an honest-to-goodness workout session: “Kiss in unusual positions,” she recommends. “Have the guy on his back and do ‘plank pose’ or a push-up on top of him, coming down to kiss him and then pushing back up. Push-ups burn 171 calories in 30 minutes.” 
Photo by Getty.

Undressing: 8+ calories total

You probably don’t put much thought into undressing when you’re getting intimate with your husband, but an Italian researcher looked into the matter and found that the mere act of taking one’s clothes off burns about 8 to 10 calories. Even more fascinating, the researcher reportedly found that a man attempting to remove a bra with his mouth burns as many as 80 calories. While that may not be applicable to you, here’s what is: By upping the energy you put into undressing, you can burn some extra calories. Don’t just strip down in seconds, says Kinzbach; instead, “draw it out and make it part of your foreplay, while getting a great workout going.” Or "undress to tease him", adds Gilda Carle, PhD,  psychotherapist and relationship expert. “Find your favorite silk scarf, and do a seductive dance with it,” she says. 
Photo by Getty.

Massaging: 80+ calories per hour

Who doesn’t like a good rubdown from their partner? But if you’re the giver, you get an additional benefit other than making your guy happy... burned calories. As it turns out, giving a good massage can get your heart rate up and kick your body into calorie-burning mode. But the way to ramp things up even more isn’t to speed things up. Instead, consider going slower, recommends Kinzbach. “This may seem counterintuitive to burning calories,” she says, “but going slower and deeper is not only more sensual, it works different muscles. I also recommend getting a massage table—it's better on your body, and standing to give a massage burns more calories.”
Photo by Shutterstock.

Having Sex: 144+ calories per half-hour

You knew sex was a workout, but who knew that a half-hour romp in the hay with your guy could burn off the chocolate you nibbled on after dinner? The key for high-calorie-burning sex is "making it hot and making it last", say experts. You can also add a little moaning and sighing, says Kinzbach, "which can help you burn an extra 18 to 30 calories". And try a position change for a better workout. “If you are on top, try moving your hips like a belly dancer; this feels great and will give you a workout,” she adds. “Also try a position where you squat on top of him and then bounce up and down. This is a great workout for your thighs and butt, and it can burn up to 207 calories in 30 minutes.” Perhaps the best way to maximize calorie-burning during sex is to make sure you orgasm. Experts estimate that women who orgasm during sex burn more calories during lovemaking than those who don’t.

Giving Oral Sex: 100 calories per half-hour

Here’s a stat you don’t hear every day: Being on the giving end of oral sex may be just as effective as a quick stint on the elliptical machine. But if you want to take your calorie-burning to the next level, Kinzbach recommends this calorie-blasting technique: push-ups (yes, in the act!). “Also you can do a little yoga, suggests Kinzbach. “Try plank position into downward facing dog, and back into plank where you can lower down and do some oral stimulation.” Tack on 71 extra calories blasted when you do push-ups, and 35 additional calories by mixing in some yoga. 
Photo by Getty.

Using Your Hands: 100 calories per hour 

Of course, the old-fashioned hand job is a calorie burner, but you can zap an additional 50 calories per half-hour by taking things up a notch. “Get lots of stuff going at once,” suggests Kinzbach. “Try really slow sensual strokes, and position yourself so that you can use your body as well.” Rocking your body against his and varying the pressure and frequency can help, too, she adds. 
Photo by Getty.

Romantic Dancing: 103 calories per half-hour

A little dirty dancing—even with your clothes on—can be a workout for you and your husband. Couples who take dance lessons (and practice in the privacy of their homes) can attest to this. Bonus: “It has been shown in scientific studies that right after an aerobic exercise, women become aroused and lubricated more easily,” says Barbara Bartlik, MD, a New York–based psychiatrist and sex therapist. Slow dancing is fine, but you have to rev things up—and add in a few surprises—to get a real workout. “Add kissing, nibbling the neck and touch,” suggests Kinzbach. "And increase the pace, too!"

 

 Well, Ted Nugent, who is famous for his songs, "Stranglehold" and "Cat Scratch Fever", is in hot water with President Barack Obama's Administration.  He is having a meeting with the Secret Service Agents next week, to discuss his comments at the most recent NRA (National Rifle Association) meeting. 
 He is quoted as calling this administration an "evil, America-hating administration" and urged NRA members to "to ride into that battlefield and chop their heads off in November."
 Nugent also said if Obama were re-elected, "I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year."
 Obviously, the administration took his latter comment as a threat to President Obama's safety.  They believed, probably, that he was incinuating that he would harm President Obama.  It sounds like it; although, he could be saying that he would lose it and go crazy doing something illegal... not necessarily assassination.  
   And what if he is threatening him?  I've heard  people say things exactly like that, and I knew darn well what they were saying...  He better be glad he's having an open meeting with Secret Service Agents and not a hidden meeting with the CIA.  What did he mean, exactly?  We might never know.
 Ted Nugent is well-known for his outspoken ways which you can witness in the many reality shows he's appeared in... One was a 2-hour show on VH1, where he hosted, called "Surviving Nugent" where Tila Tequila moves in to see if she can make it in the backwoods life.  This show split off into a 4-part series where he actually injures himself with a chainsaw requiring 44 stitches.
 Ted Nugent speaks out against issues such as: obesity, public healthcare and higher taxes and has played his guitar at the Alamo at the Tax Day Tea Party.
   Basically, you either love or hate the guy... there is no middle ground here.  He has quite a fan base, but let's see who's against him after this public stunt.

Postscript: LALA here.... check out the pic.  What do you think?  Does he do workouts here?  Could you get away with that outfit?  What is that?  A loin cloth?  LOL.  But, I digress...

I recently had a young man come and stay with me and my family.  He had been kicked out of a house he shared with roommates.  I've known him for a few years.  He used to do home workouts with my husband.  He was a very likable guy... very close to our family.  But he had moved to another city for a couple of years, and when I first saw him again, I knew something was very different.
The first full weekend he stayed here, he went to a mutual friends' house and stayed overnight both nights.  Well, he is nineteen-years old so it wasn't like I wanted him to check in, but I did want a heads up as to whether he would be home at night or not.  So after the second night, I called over and asked if he could come speak with me for a few minutes.  He did, hesitantly.  Well, I just wanted to communicate some rules and feelings with him.  Things such as letting me know if you're going to be gone all night... the usual stuff...etc.  I made sure and kept it under three minutes long.  Then, he took approximately fifteen minutes or so to inform me and my husband that we were basically privileged to be in his company when he was around, and that he didn't need parents...  He went on further to say how for the first three days he lives anywhere, he doesn't help out because he's just observing the routine.  He also said, explaining his hesitancy, that he will never stop what he's doing for anyone.,,. not even his own mother.  I was a little offended, shocked, maybe appalled, even.  But, it really didn't sink in until later.  I let him know that when he was done talking, we were moving onto something else.  Finally, he quit and left.
That night, in the middle of the night, I awoke.  I could not go back asleep.  I kept hearing things in my head, like "What have you gotten yourself into?" Then, I remember when my son had said, "I never really liked him."  His words kept repeating over-and-over again, "You're privileged to be around me," and "I don't stop what I'm doing for no one."  I thought of the laws we have here in my state where if someone is living with you, and you want them out, you basically have to do the entire eviction thing... filing, waiting for thirty days to have them kicked out.  I tried praying and going back to sleep.  Nothing was working.  So, I got up and created some documents.  The first one was a one-page contract stating that he was 'staying' with me for ______________time'.  I filled it in with 'two weeks'.  Then, it said he was expected to pitch in, find a job and earn money to move, that I could give him the privilege to stay longer if I deemed appropriate.  There was no way, I was getting myself into a mess that was going to be hard to get out of.  I wrote him a letter, also, saying that this home was a safe home and in no way a 'flop house where we come and go and stay out all hours of the night'.  It also said that I liked and respected him, but the pride issues needed to be left outside the door.  I wanted him to sign the letter or find another place to live.  (Mind you, I knew our 'mutual friend' would let him stay there.)  He indeed found another place in lieu of signing anything.  As a matter of fact, he returned my words with words on the document of his own.  I started to read them but then thought, "Ya know what?  There are just too many words.  We just needed an agreement on the rules of the house.  What ever happened to the word, "Okay?"
So, before you promise something, entirely, step back and really listen to what the other people are saying.  If something is not sitting right, protect yourself and your family.  We all deserve some respect.
Laying Down the Law,

LALA